


Sehnsucht (oneshot)

by lolmsuffering



Category: DreamSMP, dreamnotfound - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Other, Prison Arc, dreams in prison, george goes to see him, this is sad and im not sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:14:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29802075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lolmsuffering/pseuds/lolmsuffering
Summary: Longing for something one simply cannot have; nostalgia of wanting something without having knowledge of what said thing is or why you want it.A look into Dreams reasoning of why he made certain decisions while on the server, and why he feels he was wrongfully imprisoned. Besides he was just protecting the man he felt strongly for so being thrown into prison for eternity seems harsh.George goes to visit him not knowing that, that would be the last time they spoke.
Kudos: 2





	Sehnsucht (oneshot)

**Author's Note:**

> This is not explicitly a dnf but it's also not explicitly NOT a dnf, it's just however you want to interrupt it. Whether that be the fact that they are lovers, that Dream was hopelessly in love with George who didn’t love him back, or if they were just really close friends is up to the eye of the beholder.
> 
> I'm not a Dream apologist, well I mean I feel for the dude but I wouldn't consider myself an apologist, it's just a story from Dreams POV.

How could he have been the monster when all he was doing was keeping himself alive. That was a lie, he knew it was a lie. He didn’t need to watch himself, he didn’t need to try and keep himself alive. It was easy, extremely.  The decaying wooden path that HE built with his own hands had caused his ability to fight. He had been jumped time and time again. He learned to protect himself, keeping an ax on him at all times, his shield slung over his left arm preparing for an attack.  It taught him that the only people who are truly monsters are the ones that hurt him. If anyone dared hurt him, he’d was taught to make sure they would regret it. If anyone hurt someone he cared for, they were dead. Simple. 

Everything that he had done was protecting himself. Two random men came and tried stealing the land he risked _everything_ for and calling it their own. Tried creating a new nation on top of the land where he and the ones he loved died. Who would not protect that?  Being the puppet master was easy, so easy sometimes people didn’t even know you were at work. Wilbur and Tommy were destined to win the election. No way in hell would he allow that, they already stole his land and now they wanted to actually _govern_ the land. No way. Helping Schlatt win wasn’t the easiest of work but he would do anything to protect the ones he loved. Even election fraud.

How could he have possibly been the terrible person when Tommy thought that it would be funny to burn _George's_ house down. Of all people, the king. It wouldn’t have mattered to him if it was anyone else. The king deserved better, _George_ deserved better. If Tommy wasn’t going to learn that the simple way, it would have to be taught the hard way.  Tommy's exile wasn’t Dream manipulating him, it was him making sure that he would never return to _their_ land. It wasn’t Tommys land, it wasn’t Wilburs land or Tubbos land. Lord, it wasn’t even Schlatts land, even if he helped him win that was only so that the _actual_ tyrants wouldn’t win. It was _his_ land. He was just making sure that Tommy felt _so_ alone, _so_ unwanted that he would never return. 

But of course, the “good guys” had to win. Of course, everyone cheered for them, they were young and dumb. He was screwed from the start. Of course everyone would side with them, he couldn't win. But the people he cared for so deeply could be a stake so he’d never give up trying. He’d rather every single one of his lives be taken before he lost, and he would take anyone’s life who stood in front of that goal.

Dream was never the monster, he was protecting the ones he loved.

The small cell he sat hopelessly in smelled of ash and no return. It made him finally realize the weight of his words. What his actions caused. When he spoke with people who weren’t restrained, he wasn’t lying. They believed that he hadn’t changed, that _he_ was the true monster.  Everyone except George.

No one was told of his visit, not even Sapnap knew that he had gone to see him. Dream didn’t even know he was coming. Although he wasn't the king anymore, he wasn't poor. He paid Sam off to keep his mouth shut about the secret visit; which worked.  Anytime he had a visitor, he was given no more than two minutes in preparation. When he was told that someone was coming to see him, he assumed it was Tommy, maybe even Bad coming to try and convert him again. The molten wall dropped, courtesy of Sam, and there stood George. The _last_ person he expected to see.

“George!” The shout rang around the room where lava once sat “what the hell are you doing here?”

The man stepped onto the honey block present in front of him and it started traveling over to the cell where Dream sat. “To see you duh, I missed you."  It felt like home, back to the stupid flirty conversation. Dream welcomed it back, even if he was confused on why he liked the conversation so much, he used it as an excuse to speak with George again. He'd speak any type of conversation to be able to speak to him.  The man stood on the other side of the black wall waiting for it to drop so he could cross it. They giggled while they waited, Dream grabbing pulling him across the second the wall dropped.

“I’ve missed you so much, what do you even do in here it looks boring” George giggled after his question. There it was, that stupid feeling he always got whenever George was anywhere near him. The giggles the older let out only making the feeling more intense.

“I’ve been sooo bored, I was hoping you’d stop by soon because I couldn't wait any longer. I was about to combust from boredom,” the man laughed at his own joke.

The man sat on the sink that Sam gave him to use, Dream walking in front of him. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Oh my god I have to tell you this story, Sapnap is so dumb.” It was perfect, nothing had changed. George still made him wheeze uncontrollably, made his face turn red whenever he giggled. They would get through this, being in prison wouldn't change anything, they could remain just the same as they were when he had freedom.

They had walked around the room in circles so many times that George was starting to memorize the specks on the wall. They enjoyed each other's presence but they knew it couldn't last forever, that's why George needed to get what he was thinking off his chest or he wouldn't be able to any time soon. “Just hanging with you is cool...but I did kind of want to talk about something. It’s been on my mind lately, and I felt like you have the right to know”

Dream looked concerned. They had fun chats all the time, fun talk of what to build next, what pranks they could pull on Sapnap, but he didn’t like serious talks. They scared him. “Go on..”

George's eyes trailed to the floor “Dream, I can't help but feel guilty” Dream looked shocked to say the least, why in hell was this man saying it was his fault? He had no reason to say that. “You wouldn't be in here if you hadn't tried to protect me”

He was so wrong, so so wrong “How could you say that? I was doing it because I wanted to, if I didn't want to protect you I would have let you die.” He spoke the truth, nothing but it.

“I don’t know I just feel..” he trailed off trying to find the words to describe it “You would be free if it weren't for me, I’m just a burden who you feel the need to protect.“

Wrong again. “George listen to me,” he hesitated trying to format what he wanted to say, really how was he meant to say it? “There is nothing that I wouldn’t do for you, even being thrown into prison for eternity and being labeled a war criminal could not stop me from protecting you. No matter how long I'm in here, if you’re in danger, I will make sure to protect you.”  The man sat down on the cot he slept in, patting it inviting George to sit next to him. Holding his hand would be nearly impossible due to the heavy shackles around his wrists, but they both needed each other to be there, so they still tried. George's head lay on Dreams shoulder listening to his breathing.  “I don’t know how I'll protect you, but I will, George. I’d rather die than see you hurt”

“You stress too much” he locked eyes with the man, Dream didn't like eye contact, it made him uncomfortable, but this eye contact, this eye contact was different. He felt safe looking at the man, he could protect him, even with just a glare. “I'll be okay Dream, even if you're not out with me, you're the reason that I'll be okay, you taught me to fight. Your lessons will protect me.” 

The moment felt intimate. It _was_ intimate. But all good things must come to an end eventually. Sam walked back into the room across the lava pit, pulling a lever down which started the path to start moving. “George, your time is up. Please cross the border and wait for the path to come to you, don't move from it you'll fall and I don't want to have to explain how you lost a life.”  Dream didn't want him to leave. Once he left him he would have to go back to staring at the clock on his wall waiting for it to turn from blue to black. Waiting for the night to come. Where he could sleep, sleeping would let him escape from the problems that presented themselves.

George could tell when he was sad, it was obvious. “I'll be back Dream, don't miss me too much!”

“Please come back soon George, I might go crazy not being able to see you,” George promised to visit again and left back into the main area with Sam. But promises break.

-

He was alerted by Sam that he had a visitor. It confused him why he had a visitor considering he had just seen George a few hours before but he accepted it nonetheless. Maybe it was George coming back because he couldn't help but want to see him. He hoped that's what it was.

The lava pulled back revealing a man in a bandana standing on the honey block coming towards him. That definitely wasn't who he expected but he was happy to see him. “Sapnap! How have you been?” Voice cheerful, his smile wide.  Once the man arrived on the other side of the room he stood in front of the wall that needed to be dropped. Dream stood watching him. He had waited on the other side of the wall waiting for someone to enter many times before.

“Dream.” His voice was stern, Dream didn’t get scared easily, but the tone of his voice was making him nearly shake “we need to talk, I didn’t come to visit because I missed you.” Okay now he was sure something was wrong, it was worrying to say the least.

“Sapnap, what is it”

“Okay,” he took one of the biggest breaths he had ever taken, he was definitely preparing for something “you have to promise to not do anything too drastic."  Dreams heart rate increased just upon hearing the words. Whatever came out of the man's mouth next was _definitely_ not going to be good news.

“Just tell me” after yelling at the man who didn’t deserve it, Sapnap made him promise. An extremely empty promise but a promise nonetheless.

“George- They wanted me to tell you- They figured it would be best to hear it from me. I’m sorry Dream.” He was nearly praying for him to just shut up with the apologizing and get to the point. George was now told to be involved so he needed to know, _now_.

“He was jumped on his way from the prison, somewhere near Skeppy and Bads mansion”

“He’s alright though...right?” His voice broke the heartfelt sentence into two. It was less of a question and more of a plea to whoever was in charge of the universe. A plea that the man he risked everything for was okay. 

“Whoever did it didn’t look like they were robbing him Dream. They-“ he sighed knowing that what had to be said wasn’t kind words that anyone wanted to hear. “They stabbed him. Deep too. Whoever did it really wanted it to hurt, lord knows why.  I was messing around with Bad, joking about something stupid Skeppy did. We were walking back towards his mansion.  That’s when we saw him, completely lifeless, he looked cold Dream. I have never seen a man look so cold before. It was terrifying. Even after all of the wars we’ve been in, him laying like that, so immobile, was the scariest thing I have ever seen. We tried saving him. We knew he was dead, it was so obvious he was gone but if i didn’t at least try and help him I would have never forgiven myself for it.”

He just stared at the man sitting on the bed next to him. Neither of them spoke, besides, what would have been said? They had known each other since they were thirteen. Sapnap knew every single look, every single emotion he could possibly give off, everything. He knew Dream so well it was scary. “Dream…? You have to say something”

“Please leave” the very thin line keeping his voice from breaking was becoming thinner the more he spoke, “I just need some time alone Sapnap.”

“Dream you probably shouldn't be alone right now, it's definitely not healthy”

“Sapnap, Please.” The only way he could have looked like he was begging more was if he got on his knees and prayed. He obliged and turned to leave, if he needed space he would give it to him.  “Wait!” The man turned to face him confused on what he wanted. Before he was fully turned around he felt long arms wrap around his neck and fall on his back. He hugged back, Dream clearly needed it. They stood there for moments before Sapnap squeezed the tunic he was wearing and released him. He stepped onto the honey block preparing for it to move back.

Once Sapnap left he stared into the ceiling. Staring into nothing, there was nothing left after he was gone. He had only stayed alive to protect him. He had only used every last thing in his being, to protect him.  Sapnap was gone, Sam was probably walking him back to the locker where his items were kept. No one could hear him, no one would see him. The only thing that would alert everyone was the death message that would appear after he did it.

Besides everyone thought he was the monster who ruined peoples lives, was the reason for them losing so many of them. If he lost his own life, everyone else could live freely. The only remembrance that he even ever existed would be the giant prison he died in. They wouldn't tear it down because they could use it for someone else so the only way of remembering him would be to go into the cell where he died.

At least the books that Sam left him to write about nonsense in would come to use. Not for nonsense, however.

_ Just know I lied Tommy. There is no book. There never was. How could one do the impossible? You really thought that I could bring someone back to life. You really thought that I would want someone to suffer from that. No, there was no book.  If there was, maybe i’d be alive, maybe George would be alive too, perhaps maybe we’d be alive together somewhere away from this dump. But atlast, no such thing exists and it never will. _

_ It was no big surprise that our lives would end like this George. We were screwed from the start, both men who had so many confusing feelings that neither of us wanted to confront head on. It wasn’t a surprise that me sacrificing everything for you would lead to something so bad. I sacrificed my freedom, my friends, my allies, all for you George. It was always for you. _

_ I love you, George. You never said it, you never said you loved me so did you? Do you love me the way that I love you, George?  _

_ I'm going to die, alone and without the man that I risked everything for. The man who is the reason I was imprisoned in the first place. But don’t worry George, if an afterlife exists and you are somehow reading this book, i don’t blame you. How could I? I would never blame you, I did what I did to protect you.  _ _ I told you that I would protect you, even in this stupid fucking prison I said I would protect you, and I failed. I failed you and I'm so sorry. I deserve the pain that should come to me. The pain for leaving you to fend for yourself, the pain for making you die alone without anyone by your side.  _ _ But I can't handle that George. The pain of hearing of your dying hurt enough. I couldn’t possibly try to live on my own without you here. The book doesn’t exist, it would only cause the impossible to happen, the thought of living without you was just as impossible. _

_ I couldn't protect you the way I promised to. I promised you that nothing bad would happen, that I would get out of this prison and protect you again. It's my fault that you couldn't live to see me get out of here. It's my fault that were not off dancing in flowers somewhere. It's my fault you died. _

_ The choice of living without you, or dying to hopefully see you. With words I thought I'd never speak, goodbye. _

_ I love you George, apparently more than life itself. _

_ Sam when you find this, thank Sapnap for the visit.  _

  
  


*Dream tried to swim in lava*

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos?


End file.
